tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63582462012-01-26T20:01:16.414-08:00Stay classy. And Thanks for stopping by...but mostly stay classy.Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.comBlogger1691100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-39935034811547558992011-07-17T17:52:00.000-07:002011-07-17T17:52:34.196-07:00

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-81119971452979835562011-06-08T12:38:00.000-07:002011-06-08T12:38:54.049-07:00

In case you haven't heard, Tiger Woods will not play the U.S. Open next week because of his most recent leg injury. Lauren Shehadi and I discuss Tiger's decision on CBSSports.com. (I'm the one whose lips don't appear to be moving.)

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-2148797650599507012011-05-24T14:04:00.000-07:002011-05-24T14:05:52.947-07:00

This is the piece I wrote for PGA.com upon the passing of Byron Nelson in September 2006. Part of it was read both at his funeral and the ceremony in Washington, D.C. when he was posthumously honored with the Congressional Gold Medal on June 26, 2007. That remains the highlight of my career in journalism.

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-5779188910026600622011-05-12T09:58:00.000-07:002011-05-13T13:40:11.602-07:00

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-50274094453847685222011-04-29T16:03:00.000-07:002011-04-29T16:03:19.513-07:00

The second round of the draft is underway. Edmond Gates is surrounded by friends and family at a cousin's house in Dallas where he's watching the ESPN coverage, waiting to find out where he'll play football professionally. I asked him how many are there. He said, "A lot." It's the same cousin's house where they all gathered two years ago when another cousin, Bernard Scott, was taken in the 6th

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-2981171749480175632011-04-26T13:22:00.000-07:002011-04-26T13:24:15.023-07:00

Former Abilene Christian University All-America wide receiver Edmond "Clyde" Gates is projected to be taken as high as the second round of this weekend's NFL Draft. Not bad for a guy who came to ACU hoping to play basketball. Here's my profile of his amazing journey from the wrong side of the tracks to sports' biggest stage.

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-72794298842181404262011-03-15T07:57:00.000-07:002011-03-15T08:05:34.175-07:00

Liam Lowe Today, Amy Lowe will mark the day she was born by sending both of the children born to her into separate operating rooms: her 3-year-old daughter, Mary, whose bone marrow doctors will harvest; and her 6-year-old boy, Liam, who will reap that harvest. Liam has spent his last four months in a life-and-death battle with leukemia and the last four days having his little body profusely

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-80816712806287872012011-02-17T12:21:00.000-08:002011-02-17T12:30:29.038-08:00

Genesis 38 (read here) Cut Judah some slack: the fourth son of Israel and one of Jesus' not-so-great grandfathers didn't actually know the woman was his daughter-in-law. He thought Tamar, his oldest son's widow, was merely a prostitute, which explains why she got his goat in more ways than one. The man had morals. Not very good ones, but he had them. My buddy Hirsh believes that Someone

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-57334510111117642282011-02-08T07:44:00.000-08:002011-02-08T08:37:37.214-08:00

Whatever you thought about Dustin Johnson getting flagged for unintentional grounding on the final hole of the PGA Championship, this much we all agree on: The rule was applied correctly. You may think the rule unfair or feel badly for Johnson, but you can't deny the PGA got it right in penalizing him 2 strokes - even if they were only enforcing an ill-conceived caveat of a quirky course.

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-25162967075038835532008-09-18T19:50:00.001-07:002008-09-18T20:02:59.469-07:00

First off, if you’re hoping to see the U.S. reclaim the Ryder Cup this week, I regret to inform you that the early signs aren’t promising.Start with Sunday when high winds blew through Louisville, Kentucky, rearranging some of Valhalla’s outdoor furniture and even toppling a TV tower. (Unfortunately for the U.S. team, NBC’s Johnny Miller wasn’t in it at the time.)It got worse on Monday when the

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-88777652877401193512008-06-26T07:38:00.000-07:002008-06-28T15:43:29.373-07:00

First off, in memory of the late, great George Carlin, the boone box presents:The Seven Words You Can Never Say If You Sell Ads for the Networks Televising the Season’s Final Two Majors and Ryder Cup: 1. Tiger2. Woods3. Won’t4. Play5. In6. The7. TournamentMy guess is that anyone who makes money off the British Open, PGA Championship, Ryder Cup, and/or any other event Tiger Woods would’ve played

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-12378248739129311302008-06-23T14:08:00.000-07:002008-06-23T14:27:30.192-07:00

First off, congratulations to Tiger Woods for finally shedding the distinction of Best Golfer Without a U.S. Open Title Since I Began Writing This Column. Father’s Day weekend marked the second anniversary of Grant Me This.Traditionally, one commemorates such milestones with specific gifts, e.g. gold for 50th, silver for 25th, calamine lotion for the 7th. To celebrate GMT’s 2nd, we spared no

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-25737204121588640652008-05-31T07:04:00.001-07:002008-05-31T16:53:09.672-07:00

First off, there are times it seems life, if you’ll pardon the Dickensian twist, is a city of two tales: those of the cautionary variety and the ones with fairies. Occasionally, the two collide.Last week’s edition of GMT was the hardest to finish in the nearly two years I’ve been at this. And not because it took so long to find the video clip of that SNL scene featuring Phil Hartman as washed-up

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-61268998101135365382008-05-22T16:20:00.000-07:002008-05-22T17:20:30.585-07:00

First off, in the words of (as Matt Foley called him) Bill Shakespeare, parting is indeed sweet sorrow. This week, two more major American cities said goodbye to gas prices which per gallon began with the number 3. The pumps in California these days read like an NFL defensive back’s 40 time.On Tuesday, Hillary Clinton bid farewell to any mathematical chance of winning a majority of delegates in

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-28485564971702160432008-05-22T16:15:00.000-07:002008-05-22T16:31:11.795-07:00

First off, a warning: if you’re going to let your kids play little league sports, prepare yourself for a weekly gut-ectomy. If you’re planning to coach your kids’ teams – run. Run very fast the other way, while you still can, and don’t look back.The scrappy little Cubs (ages 9-11) of Wylie Little League took another one on the chin Tuesday night at the old ball orchard. Leading 10-7 going into

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-73477726056952112622008-05-22T16:10:00.000-07:002008-05-22T16:43:11.167-07:00

First off, it’s been a rather quiet week in golf. Not a single major champion has been interviewed topless for a small-market morning television show. In a related story, John Daly earned his one-week chip from Exhibitionists Anonymous.Second, hold de Mayo. On the eve of a national holiday, Mexico’s favorite daughter, Lorena Ochoa, came up short in her attempt to win Cinco straight. Ochoa opened

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-19530861273112036132008-04-28T19:36:00.000-07:002008-04-28T19:59:36.660-07:00

This column appeared originally in "Grant Me This" on http://www.pga.com/. First off, for those of you in metropolitan New York who wanted to see the final round of the Verizon Heritage but instead got invocation-to-benediction coverage of the Papal Mass at Yankee Stadium, you didn't miss much. Boo Weekley won the tournament for the second straight year, albeit in more somnolent style than last

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-64726190509420033092007-08-08T10:01:00.000-07:002007-08-08T10:02:21.732-07:00

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-18783167995217500412007-03-07T03:41:00.000-08:002007-03-07T03:44:23.104-08:00

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-22400380867457662772007-02-07T12:05:00.000-08:002007-02-07T12:57:52.396-08:00

First off, after the outpouring of praise for last week’s column – okay, it was just one guy this morning at Starbucks, but he really poured out a lot of praise as the barista in-poured his coffee – I was tempted to recap how Tiger Woods’ performance at the Dubai Desert Classic was covered locally by Al Jazeera and lead anchor Mahmoud Burgundy (“Stay sheik, Middle East.”).But this is no time to

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1165272115502467302006-12-04T14:15:00.000-08:002006-12-04T16:23:20.700-08:00

There were five of us on the second row at Highland yesterday: Anna Claire, Nicholas, and me - three of the usual suspects. Playing the role of Amy and Andrew, who were home because of Andrew's slight fever, were Anna Claire's two new nutcrackers (one of each gender to maintain the appropriate family ratio).Once Anna Claire departed for children's church, Nicholas and I were left to ponder the

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1163460089136643962006-11-13T14:19:00.000-08:002006-11-13T15:44:37.840-08:00

Nicholas Boone came into the world eight years ago tonight at warp speed and hasn't slowed down since. Within minutes of being born, he was bowing his back and cocking his head, as if to take everything in. He was crawling at six months, walking at nine, running on his first birthday. He had no idea where he was going, mind you, but he was making great time.He still runs from room to room inside

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1157212944689231622006-09-02T08:52:00.000-07:002006-09-02T09:02:24.713-07:00

Columns from the U.S. Open (golf's not tennis'):Day 1 recap - Global warming and remembering Tyrell "Party On" GarthDay 2 recap - If a Peacock cries in a TV compound, does anyone hear it?Day 3 recap - Tips for running marathons and Monty's tight-cheeked trousersDay 4 recap - Mickelson's El Guapo

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1156801687956370622006-08-28T14:16:00.000-07:002006-08-28T14:48:08.330-07:00

Day 1 recapDay 2Day 3Day 4

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1156460455901319962006-08-24T15:28:00.000-07:002006-08-24T16:00:55.926-07:00

Here's the link to a piece I wrote on PGA.com last week about the passing of golfer Darren Clarke's wife at the age of 39. I received more than 100 e-mails in the first 24 hours from at least 3 continents and 5 or 6 countries, many from those who had either recently experienced loss or are watching loved ones die now.It may've been the first column since I started that didn't have at least one

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1154979713641225972006-08-07T14:51:00.000-07:002006-08-07T22:36:40.956-07:00

Few things have awakened me from blogging slumber over, lo, these last three months. But then every day isn't August 7, the day our firstborn was first born.Andrew is 10 today. And this is how it happens, i.e. the passing of time. He'd never learn to drive or graduate from high school and college or get a job or get married or give us grandchildren if he never turned 10. So I'm preemptively

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1152117517377137992006-07-05T09:35:00.000-07:002006-07-05T09:38:37.520-07:00

What do a nearly naked Britney Spears and a nearly neutered grizzly bear have in common? You guessed it: the 61st U.S. Women's Open.

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1150835265152374192006-06-20T12:59:00.000-07:002006-06-20T13:27:45.196-07:00

For those of you spewing invective in my general direction for not yet offering part two of our baseball trip up north, I'll refer you to the apostles Peter and Paul:1) "With God, a day is like a thousand years."2) "Equality with God isn't something to be grasped."So look for part two no later than June of 11006.In the meantime, you'll have to settle for my musings on the just-completed U.S. Open

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1148266737859819072006-05-21T19:17:00.000-07:002006-05-22T09:40:18.056-07:00

The great American priest, Father James Keller, once wrote, Every mother has the breathtaking privilege of sharing with God in the creation of new life. She helps bring into existence a soul that will endure for all eternity. Amen.Sadly, Father Keller died before the advent of Frequent Flier Miles. Otherwise, I'm sure he would've added something to the effect of, "So for cryin' out loud, take the

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1139527386681948452006-04-29T00:21:00.000-07:002006-04-28T22:23:54.640-07:00

Golfer Fred Funk's caddy, Mark Long, does a dead-on impersonation of 5-time major champion and dashing Spaniard Seve Ballesteros. One of Long's best routines is of Seve recounting a disagreement with his brother, Vicente, who was carrying his bag during one particular round at The Masters. Mark-as-Seve says, "We were on de 15nce hole. My broder, Vicente, say, You hit 5-iron. I say, No is a 4. He

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1144472786710734342006-04-07T21:42:00.000-07:002006-04-08T00:04:23.560-07:00

The first two rounds of The Masters are in the books, and I'm in my underwear. But perhaps even more important to golf fans, Chad Campbell is in the lead by three with each of the top five players in the world under par and on his heels. Tiger Woods, who'll begin the weekend five shots in arrears, couldn't be happier that my arrears are here and not there. I've attended four of the previous 10

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1143830871742659262006-03-31T10:44:00.000-08:002006-03-31T10:47:51.756-08:00

This arrived a few hours after I e-mailed Nancy Grace the letter you read in the previous post. I was touched. This is how honest dialogue happens. It's about two sides sharing their hearts, then trusting one another to receive those feelings in the spirit in which they were intended.I think Nancy and I made a little breakthrough, and I'm sure neither of us will be the same. What do you think?

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1143735795310401222006-03-30T08:22:00.000-08:002006-03-30T08:23:15.330-08:00

Nancy,Rubel Shelly is a personal friend of mine. He is a man of great intelligence, having taught courses at both Vanderbilt and Duke Universities on subjects I didn't even know existed. He is also one of the most gentle servants I've ever known.I wish you could know him outside of the monitor in which he appeared on your show.I think there could come a time in which you'll want to ask his

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1141186975705950662006-02-28T20:06:00.000-08:002008-05-28T13:41:21.022-07:00

A special day calls for a special treat, so Anna Claire and I stopped at Starbucks this morning for a kids hot chocolate and some coffee cake en route to Stepping Stones, her preschool. Thankfully, the turning of the calendar hasn't untwisted her tongue...Can we thtop at Thtawbuckth on the way to Thtepping Thtoneth?Looking at it in type, it might appear my daughter is Tweety Bird. It's actually

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1141085588060096062006-02-27T15:50:00.000-08:002006-02-27T16:14:33.540-08:00

We told the kids about Kerri's passing Wednesday night as they were going to bed. Thursday morning at breakfast, we discussed it again. They asked some questions, reminded me that Kerri was in heaven, and ate quietly for maybe 90 seconds. Then commenced with the business of being 9, 7, and about to be 4. I was not impressed with their grieving. I wanted them to be more somber, maudlin. I would've

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1140675441659926182006-02-22T21:31:00.000-08:002006-02-22T22:17:21.723-08:00

I've been had. All those preachers. All those sermons. All that nonsense about asking, knocking, believing, supplicating, persisting, petitioning, praying, pleading, anointing with oil, jumping through hoops in hopes that God would do what you begged Him to do.It's a bill of goods. They were selling. I was buying.I bought the crock about getting what you asked for. So I prayed and begged and

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1139201212644254512006-02-05T20:14:00.000-08:002006-02-06T09:12:22.930-08:00

Okay, I was wrong. Make it 21-10 Steelers. I was never good with math. But these numbers tell the sad story of the game: Seattle had 86 yards of offense and a touchdown nullified by referees' whistles in its Super Bowl XL loss to Pittsburgh. An Xtra Large number when you consider that in addition to the 86 positive yards taken away, the penalties moved the Seahawks backward another 70. More than

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1139177573210819782006-02-05T14:12:00.000-08:002006-02-05T14:12:53.223-08:00

Pittsburgh 24Seattle 10

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1137428434181755942006-01-16T07:38:00.000-08:002006-01-17T10:31:33.830-08:00

This weekend's NFL playoff games answered a number of important questions, not the least of which was: What would it look like if Brick Tamland, weatherman for the Channel 4 News Team, was the league's head of officiating? ("I ate fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like the guy said...my tummy itches.")In a stunning series of incompetence that amounted to their own version of a

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1128395345825129672006-01-07T20:05:00.000-08:002006-01-07T01:26:13.250-08:00

I was 10 when my blood turned Tennessee orange. My cousins from Jackson came to Nashville for Thanksgiving, bringing with them tickets to the Vols' "home" game at Vanderbilt. (Contrary to folk legend, Miles Standish did not offer the Wampanoag Indians that same bounty at the first Thanksgiving. The Vols were away that week.)It was just one UT game, but I was hook-and-laddered. I'd been an Oakland

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1135231287734061312005-12-21T21:50:00.000-08:002005-12-21T22:01:27.743-08:00

The Christmas spirit is alive and well at your local Sonic restaurants. When a carhop brought my lunch yesterday, I greeted him with a hearty "How's it goin'?" To which he replied,"Oh, I'm here...course I'd rather be home...watching a scary movie...lying in bed..."(Students of literature will instantly recognize this line as the original ending to Clement Moore's Twas the Night Before Christmas.)

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1132932464351414062005-11-25T06:41:00.000-08:002005-11-25T12:00:32.880-08:00

To those of you who got up in the middle of the night to hit the stores for the best after-Thanksgiving-Day deals, I say, You greedy, materialistic fools!And also,Stop shoving! I was here first!Okay, so I was among the heathen venturing out this morning at 0-dark-30. But I was on assignment for the boone box. Make that Mrs. boone box and the boone box estate.I pulled up to Best Buy at 4:55 a.m.,

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1132547671144946572005-11-20T20:31:00.000-08:002005-11-20T20:38:38.036-08:00

The sign outside the church down the street from us reads:Tell the truth. Then you don't have to worry about what you said.See, I disagree. For example, if a wife asks her husband,"Do these jeans make my hips look big?"and he replies,"I can't really see your hips because of your massive hiney,"even if he's telling the truth, I think he'll still have something to worry about.

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1131595932091497632005-11-09T20:09:00.000-08:002005-11-10T06:34:18.796-08:00

The marriage between Terrell Owens and the Philadelphia Eagles has - as you may have heard - gone the way of Chesney-Zellweger. After several months of petulant behavior and publicly dissing teammates and coaches, most recently saying in an interview that the Eagles would be undefeated if Brett Favre was their quarterback instead of Donovan McNabb, the team - surprise! - finally had enough and

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1130369594524331242005-10-26T16:12:00.000-07:002005-10-26T16:41:13.090-07:00

When I was broadcasting tournaments for The Golf Channel, we used to giggle at the prospect of Brian Gay, Dicky Pride, and Glen Day playing in the same group, thus giving us the Gay-Pride-Day threesome. Something tells me the gag would be lost on Fred Phelps. He's the pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, and I use all of the aforementioned terms - he, pastor, and Westboro

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1128480451628866132005-10-04T19:44:00.000-07:002005-10-05T08:51:27.646-07:00

The magazine cover featured two subjects, arm in arm and surrounded by water as the headline screamed,"What Went Wrong?"In times of national crisis, it is incumbent on America's journalists to ask the tough questions and discover the truth. Our forefathers died for the freedom of an investigative press. That and a dependable Best and Worst Dressed List. That's why I salute People Magazine for

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1126935612610181442005-09-16T22:35:00.000-07:002005-09-21T08:37:05.366-07:00

Jodie Foster stars in a new thriller called Flightplan, which according to the trailer is about a woman who can't find her kid on an airplane. Here's a nugget the major entertainment outlets won't give you: this film was inspired by the time my family drove to Florida and left my sister at an Exxon. The working title of the film was Urinal, but I think they thought Flightplan sounded a little

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1126245590873782462005-09-08T22:16:00.000-07:002005-09-08T23:23:33.216-07:00

Heading into the home stretch of the NFL season, my beloved Oakland Raiders have positioned themselves for an exciting playoff run. With just 15 games to go, the Silver and Black have moved to within a half game of first place in the AFC West.They lost a tough one Thursday night to the two-time defending Super Bowl champion Patriots, 30-20. On the bright side, Randy Moss didn't smoke a single

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1118239983343950312005-09-05T07:08:00.000-07:002005-09-06T07:43:37.690-07:00

I keep waking up hoping to discover everything I've seen on TV the last seven days was a dream, like the ones where I'm in a musical and don't know any of the songs (as if that would be the only obstacle to my being in a musical) or where I'm sitting in a radio control room ready to read a sportscast, only to realize I have no copy so I make it up. (Many who used to listen me in real life had the

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1125159675008462072005-08-27T07:15:00.000-07:002005-08-27T09:53:09.480-07:00

Like most of you, I've been searching for that one, foolproof system for guaranteed gambling success. Today, in an exclusive to the boone box, I, Grant "Split Ace" Boone, am going all in to announce I've found it. (By the way, you've never experienced pain until you've had your aces split.) Discovered by yours truly one year ago Wednesday and developed over the past 12 months, this is the system

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1124816446032141632005-08-23T08:46:00.000-07:002005-10-28T09:26:52.103-07:00

In Adam McKay's epic motion picture, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, the members of the Channel 4 News Team vociferously protest to their news director the hiring of female reporter Veronica Corningstone. Weatherman Brick Tamland, whom we find out later will be told he has an IQ of 46, pounds his fist and screams, "Loud noises!"I can relate to Brick - and not just in IQ - in the wake of

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1124691250701131742005-08-21T22:28:00.000-07:002005-08-22T11:45:40.396-07:00

I woke up Sunday morning in Reno, Nevada (pronounced Nevada, not Nevada) in search of a church service. Not finding one anywhere near my hotel, I grabbed my Bible and made my way over to the most popular place of prayer in town, Harrah's Hotel and Casino. I wasn't there for the ceremony, just the sacraments; Harrah's housed the only Starbucks I knew of within walking distance. (En route, I saw a

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1124158794562164842005-08-15T19:04:00.000-07:002005-08-30T16:01:40.350-07:00

Glory's last shot, as the PGA of America melodramatically dubs its major championship, was a day late but not a dollar short. After threatening weather suspended play Sunday afternoon, Phil Mickelson returned to Baltusrol Golf Club in Springfield, New Jersey Monday morning to win the 87th PGA Championship. That they couldn't finish on time had less to do with the Almighty than the Almighty Dollar

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1123761373679121062005-08-11T04:55:00.000-07:002005-08-11T04:56:13.686-07:00

Click here for live coverage of the PGA Championship. I'm a close, personal friend of one of the announcers.

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1122673450080672192005-07-29T14:41:00.000-07:002005-07-30T10:11:25.696-07:00

In the last several years, a lot of people I know, love, and respect have more publicly - even defiantly - stood in opposition to the notion that the Republican Party is the only one in which a follower of Christ can truly be represented.As terms like emergent and postmodern have turned up, so too has the volume by those suggesting the G-O-P is not G-O-D and that the way of Christ goes not

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1121830563475060492005-07-19T20:09:00.000-07:002005-07-20T23:46:53.210-07:00

Members of Auburn University's NCAA Championship men's swim team presented President Bush with a speedo during their triumphant visit to the White House last week. Bush said he wouldn't wear it...at least not in public.Still, my guess is that there's a better chance of seeing America's Emperor in his new clothes doing laps across the Potomac than there is of him firing his right hand man, Karl

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1121742293354568912005-07-18T19:18:00.000-07:002005-07-19T00:44:38.616-07:00

Poor Tiger. The closer he tries to get to Jack Nicklaus, the further Nicklaus moves away. The week Tiger notched his 10th career major championship - moving to within eight of Nicklaus' record total - the Royal Bank of Scotland unveiled some new Jack, specifically a series of five-pound notes stamped with the upper torso of Jack Nicklaus clutching the Claret Jug.It's even money whether or not

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1121314600400200332005-07-13T18:59:00.000-07:002005-07-14T05:40:54.346-07:00

While America sleeps Wednesday night and Thursday morning, golf's oldest championship, The British Open, will begin at the birthplace of the game, St. Andrews, Scotland. First played in 1860, The Open Championship - as its known everywhere in the world except on U.S. soil - predates the American Civil War. No, Jack Nicklaus didn't participate in that inaugural tournament. (According to extant

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1120315388911062692005-07-02T06:53:00.000-07:002005-07-08T09:42:36.613-07:00

This post is brought to you by the letters F, U, and the number 36.The only thing better than celebrating your birthday is extending the revelry to an entire week, which is about how long my sainted mother was in labor before delivering me into the world as a welterweight at a terrifying but even 11 pounds.So it was that after friends and family feted me on the 36th anniversary of my rather

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1119825919477626992005-06-26T15:09:00.000-07:002005-06-30T17:51:18.270-07:00

The events depicted in this story are true. Only the name has been changed to define the champion. Nine months after presciently conceiving her nickname, Ju-Yun "Birdie" Kim delivered. From the sands of Cherry Hills Country Club's seemingly impregnable 18th hole, Kim produced a bouncing, bunkered birdie - a miraculous shot and one of the greatest in golf history the moment it fell - to win the

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1119271975994205492005-06-20T05:11:00.000-07:002005-06-20T11:14:29.580-07:00

You can set your watch to it: every 42 years, a New Zealander wins a major championship. In 1963, lanky lefthander Bob Charles won the British Open. And yesterday, Michael Campbell survived the U.S. Open at Pinehurst's No. 2 Course on a day in which most of his opponents looked as if they were playing left-handed. Of the final four players to tee off Sunday, three couldn't break 80: defending

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1118932396220622572005-06-16T07:09:00.000-07:002005-06-16T07:33:16.900-07:00

Knowing that Annika is a big fan of the boone box, I'd intended to keep the recap of the LPGA Championship at the top of my blog until she'd had a chance to read it. But circumstances compel me to submit the following post. (Annika, scroll down to the next story to see how I fumbled all over myself trying to describe how great you are.)Our dear friends, Scott and Emily Glisson and their four

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1118632250800117182005-06-12T19:23:00.000-07:002005-06-13T15:50:27.916-07:00

America's secondary education system is clearly failing us. Neither Michelle Wie, a sophomore at Honolulu's Punahou Academy, nor the newly-minted graduate of Pendleton High in Bradenton, Florida, Paula Creamer, could get closer than three shots to Annika Sorenstam at the McDonald's LPGA Championship. Then again, neither could anyone of drinking age. Sorenstam won her third straight Mickey D's,

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1118063252648988842005-06-06T05:08:00.000-07:002005-06-06T08:18:08.266-07:00

CBS spent the better part of its broadcast of The Memorial golf tournament promoting "the funniest new reality show on television," Fire Me...Please! (It's apparently based on Gary McCord's performance at the 1994 Masters when he said about the 17th hole at Augusta National, "they don't mow this green, they bikini wax it," thus ending his Masters broadcast career.)Still, the best reality show

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1117578406134727952005-05-31T12:31:00.000-07:002005-05-31T22:54:02.730-07:00

Monday was Memorial Day. Said so on my 365 Days of Dave Barry calendar, so it must be true. Memorials, of course, are more memorable when you actually remember the person you're commemorating. For example, I noticed my 6-year-old son, Nicholas, reading my t-shirt at breakfast this morning, the one emblazoned with "That Pat Boone Is A Lovely Man," an actual quote from Sharon Osbourne (wife of Ozzy

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1117007860881028322005-05-24T23:53:00.000-07:002005-05-25T07:16:27.083-07:00

I may have to give up my hip hop music. The lyrics are getting quite bawdy.This should be of great interest to those of you considering a romantic relationship with a rapper. He may not be willing to make a long-term commitment if the words of Ludacris in 2004's Song of the Year, Yeah!, are any indication:Forget about game, I'm a spit the truthI won't stop 'til I get 'em in they birthday suitsFor

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1115608571225935272005-05-08T19:06:00.000-07:002005-05-10T15:17:34.866-07:00

Sports weekends like this one are why people garden. Let's recap:*Tiger Woods, in his first appearance since that epic Masters title, flopped at the Wachovia Championship. Tiger tied for 11th but never contended, his weekend lowlighted by an approach to the 14th Friday which landed just past the hole...and promptly spun left, off the green, and into the water. The winner was Vijay Singh, second

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1114486871578043402005-04-25T19:58:00.000-07:002005-04-26T00:35:36.700-07:00

Now that I've let the cat out of the bag (or the darts out of the, well, you know), I'm hoping you're all paying closer attention when sportscasters speak with forked tongue. Did you catch the latest example during Sunday's final round of the Houston Open?As John Daly waited near the scoring trailer to see if his scintillating 67 would be good enough to get him into a playoff with Vijay Singh,

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1114204526283066252005-04-22T13:33:00.000-07:002005-04-22T14:15:26.286-07:00

Two questions about the new pontiff: 1) Does he take immediate ownership of the Popemobile, and, if so, does his newfound infallibility clep him out of waiting in line at the Vatican DMV to sign it over to his name?and 2) Are we 100% sure this isn't Leslie Nielsen? 'Cause this is exactly the sort of thing he'd do for a gag.---Equally blasphemous was my failure to include the chorus from Spinal

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1113886883012282892005-04-18T22:01:00.000-07:002005-04-18T22:23:40.443-07:00

I'm saying a preemptive prayer for the Mickelson family tonight. The proverbial fan isn't going to know what hit it.

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1113200181212038742005-04-10T20:57:00.000-07:002005-04-10T23:19:48.430-07:00

With yet another inimitable display of carpe diem and a barely imitable fourth Masters title, Tiger Woods has ended his post-nuptial major championship winless streak at...zero. In his first appearance in a grand slam event since getting hitched, Tiger slipped on the world's only known coveted Green Jacket six months after slipping a wedding ring on the finger of Jesper Parnevik's former nanny,

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1111770704575103922005-03-25T08:22:00.001-08:002005-03-25T12:19:34.440-08:00

At age 35, I think I'm finally understanding what it means to be a true follower of Christ. For example, 2,000 years ago this week, Christ went to Calvary to purchase my eternal freedom. Whereas yesterday, I went to Anson to buy a truck. Now I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes: I made sure to get one with a big enough bed to carry my cross. Anyway, now that I've mastered true

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1110387412657366442005-03-16T08:52:00.000-08:002005-03-16T11:55:42.983-08:00

We, 35 and 34, finished potty-training Anna Claire, 3, just in time for a spring break trip to southern California. After five straight days of airplane toilets, public restrooms, and port-o-johns, I'm strongly considering having all of us switch back to diapers. Heading up the 101 during rush hour Monday night, Anna Claire made it clear she needed to use the facilities. Being new to this routine

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1107655291404013772005-02-05T18:00:00.000-08:002005-02-23T07:54:04.776-08:00

If you've learned anything about me through this blog over the years it's how much esteem I have for the men and women who navigate the nation's highways and biways as truckers. It was this noble vocation, after all, that gave the world one of the finest "Old So-and-Sos Never Die" jokes, to wit: "Old truckers never die; they just get a new Peterbilt." God bless truckers.One thing, though. I don't

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1107655229589470242005-02-05T17:58:00.000-08:002005-02-08T15:40:43.536-08:00

By now, the Religious Right is on Red (Pink?) Alert over the news that an upcoming episode of a PBS kids show about a cartoon rabbit, Buster, features a same-sex couple engaging in the shamefully lubricious act of - hide the women and women - eating dinner. Personally, I've always felt public television's greatest threat to America's youth was Teletubbies. As expected, every conservative

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1106717804833353292005-01-25T20:43:00.000-08:002005-06-03T09:44:27.643-07:00

My 6-year-old Nicholas is all boy, which is good seeing as how he's a boy and all. His high testosterone level also helps explain his infatuation with the Strongman Competition that ESPN is currently airing approximately 29 hours each day. When you think about it, those contests aren't that different from a typical day in the life of a lot of 6-year-olds. Find heavy stuff, pick it up, move it

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1105553651404474802005-01-12T10:06:00.000-08:002005-01-13T09:20:20.456-08:00

One of the things that makes America great is its dedication to the continued development of new and often sickeningly sugary breakfast cereals. I believe it's been our manifest destiny. Would the great chefs of Europe ever have come up with Mud N' Bugs? When was the last time your kids asked for Muesli? Do I even need to answer these questions? Yet for whatever reason, only two cereals come in

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1104967219530888022005-01-05T13:25:00.000-08:002005-01-05T15:20:19.530-08:00

Seeing as how my last attempt at posting quotes went so well, here's another. This from Italian philosopher and novelist (The Name of the Rose) Umberto Eco. He's no Dr. Evil, but I found this provocative: "I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren't trying to teach us." Think about the things you learned from your folks that they weren't

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1104249464806949372004-12-28T07:34:00.000-08:002004-12-30T08:41:29.170-08:00

With Christmas past and the new year encroaching, these reflections from Dr. Evil on the halcyon days of his youth probably speak to all of us in one way or another: My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1103139314126377632004-12-15T11:21:00.000-08:002004-12-15T19:19:28.533-08:00

On the people mover at DFW airport. Coming out, beefy Cincinnati Reds first baseman Adam Dunn. Getting on, the explosively flatulent (thanks to someone else's creative audio editing) and fraudulent (which he did on his own) televangelist Robert Tilton. One pitches, the other swings. Both made rich from their respective flocks. At least one of them occasionally gives his fans their money's worth

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1102366263877453602004-12-06T13:43:00.000-08:002004-12-07T09:42:01.780-08:00

From Pughtown, Pennsylvania - motto: "Get A Whiff Of Pughtown!" - comes the story of the now former Reverend Irene Elizabeth Stroud, a tale both ribald and riddled with double entendre. Last week, the United Methodist Church defrocked Stroud as an associate pastor after she confessed that she is a practicing homosexual, and it got me thinking. Does practice ever make perfect? How much practice

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1101182951986878782004-12-04T19:57:00.000-08:002004-12-06T12:52:42.036-08:00

Hats (and towels) off to the men and women of our nation's armed, legged, and barebacked entertainment forces, who've proudly taken it upon themselves to answer the one question that's haunted 24-hour news network producers since the day after the election: "Whose idea was it to create 24-hour news networks anyway?" And, more specifically, "How many times can we run that same "

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1101245656599254072004-11-23T13:18:00.000-08:002004-11-23T13:37:48.130-08:00

Golfers will say you've "overclubbed" if the woman you married is way better than you should have had. In football parlance, it's called "outkicking your coverage." I'm sure poker players would have a term, too, if they'd ever get up off their fat aces and actually ask a girl out. (It's difficult to imagine the conversation ever progressing past, "Hey, little missy. Wanna come watch the flop to

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1100799395927391362004-11-18T08:28:00.000-08:002004-11-18T09:52:50.590-08:00

In case you missed it, Sears and K-Mart have announced they're merging. On one hand it reeks of a cheap publicity stunt by aging, passe celebrities - imagine the buzz in Hollywood if Loretta Swit from M*A*S*H married Welcome Back, Kotter's Ron "Horshack" Palillo...keep thinking...got it? There you go. But on a personal level, I'm sure I'll enjoy the convenience of avoiding one store instead of

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1100650644400421292004-11-16T15:39:00.000-08:002004-11-16T16:17:24.400-08:00

Last week, the NFL re-upped with CBS and Fox, guaranteeing that those two networks will televise football on Sundays. Based on last night's intro to the Eagles-Cowboys' game on ABC, it would appear the league is considering moving Monday Night Football to Cinemax. For Nicolette Sheridan, who dropped her towel and jumped into the arms of Philly receiver Terrell Owens (it was the first of T.O.'s

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1099886015876740252004-11-07T19:42:00.000-08:002004-11-07T19:58:54.640-08:00

Parental Guidance: knowing when a child is too young to take to the movies. Here's a general rule of thumb - if your youngster is smaller than the largest tub of popcorn, wait for the DVD. Don't take this literally.

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1099545486870954162004-11-03T21:13:00.000-08:002004-11-03T21:21:21.286-08:00

This man was attacked and injured after jumping into a lion's den at the Taipei Zoo and trying to convert the lions to Christianity. I only wish I was kidding. Sir, the Colosseum closed 2,000 years ago. Get over it.

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1099435682046025982004-11-02T14:48:00.000-08:002004-11-02T14:49:45.606-08:00

 

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1098816280733717242004-10-26T11:28:00.000-07:002004-10-26T11:44:40.733-07:00

The Tiananmen Square massacre was worth it. Hooters has finally come to China. The Congressional Budget Office estimates the United States' two billion dollar trade deficit with the People's Republic will be erased by Monday.

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1098403156713533532004-10-21T15:37:00.000-07:002004-10-21T17:05:30.230-07:00

Entertainment magazine editors face a difficult decision each week: should I do a feature story on Britney Spears' latest once-in-a-lifetime love or go ahead and kill myself now? Here's how the bigwigs at Us Weekly adroitly laid out this week's cover: *A 3/4-page picture of J-Lo declaring: "I'm ready to have a baby!" Choose one of my following two retorts - a) Doesn't she have to get

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1098122047629867322004-10-18T10:53:00.000-07:002004-10-18T10:54:07.630-07:00

On the way home from church yesterday, Andrew (age 8) asked if he could read some of the book of Revelation after lunch. As Amy and I looked at each other, I could tell we were thinking different things. Amy: "Quit looking at me and keep your eyes on the road." Me: "Where did we go wrong? He'd always been such a good boy." I told him I couldn't think of a time when it wouldn't be okay to read

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1097849363167979222004-10-15T07:03:00.000-07:002004-10-15T07:09:23.166-07:00

The fact that I've flown so often that I can most often get upgraded into first class is bittersweet: It means I've spent a significant amount of time away from my wife and children. To say I love them way more than anything I do on the road would suggest that it's even a debatable question. On the other hand, I do get free drinks and a hot towel before meals. So, you know. By the way,

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1097186829074635032004-10-07T14:53:00.000-07:002004-10-07T15:08:48.160-07:00

Because neither of us have enough to do, I've created a brand new blog, Poll Position, that will focus exclusively on politics. I didn't think it was fair to bury important stories like a football player pooping in a woman's laundry basket beneath political pablum and discussing who will be the next leader of the free world. I hope you'll visit and make comments at Poll Position and continue to

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1096995056189693492004-10-05T09:45:00.000-07:002004-10-05T09:54:11.460-07:00

Sorry for the recent spate of lavatorial subject matter, but... After hitting the laundry basket, you knew sooner or later this would hit the fan. Wouldn't this guy be a better fit with the Browns?

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1096438651231219332004-09-28T20:59:00.000-07:002004-11-10T12:16:04.440-08:00

Saw a great bumper sticker in Portland last week: "Re-defeat George W. Bush." Now that's funny. Even if you were, like me, part of the victorious minority who voted for the President four years ago, you gotta admit that's clever. And it's certainly superior to "My child is an honor student at Ritalin Elementary." I am an avowed homer. But I think I'm pretty good at keeping my allegiance to team/

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1095686533104153292004-09-20T04:30:00.000-07:002004-09-20T06:22:13.103-07:00

I'm not sure which is more execrable: the unique grime in which one marinates during an all-night flight and the ensuing, early-morning airport layover; or the almost audible objections your body raises when you are so indescribably tired on such occasions. (Vote now to win either a Plasma TV or the opportunity to donate plasma while watching TV.) I'm pondering that question and other mysteries

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1095091520809316782004-09-13T09:00:00.000-07:002004-09-13T09:05:20.810-07:00

Does anyone else feel just a little naughty when asking the Starbucks' barista for Sumatra? I didn't think so. (And, yes, barista is the most unintentionally hiliarious euphemism for a fast food worker since Subway tried to pass off its employees as "sandwich artists.")

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1094661753083271012004-09-08T09:18:00.000-07:002004-09-13T08:53:01.620-07:00

King Solomon, he of unparalleled wisdom and insatiable libido, once said, "There's nothing new under the sun." Even though TiVo wouldn't be invented until years after his death, I think he may have been foreshadowing today's TV fare. The only stuff worth watching is the reheated leftovers from my youth. To wit: ESPN selected the U.S. hockey team's victory over the Soviets in the 1980 Olympic

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1094064739619855942004-09-01T10:13:00.000-07:002004-09-01T12:43:41.516-07:00

Since Bill O'Reilly's looking out for me, I figure the least I can do is occasionally look back at him. Last night, as he interviewed the husband-wife team of NFL defensive back Jason Sehorn and actress Angie Harmon from Law and Order, O'Reilly's pride came before a fall, or at least a Freudian slip. Talking about Sehorn's pigskin peers, Mr. O smugly asserted that most professional football

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6358246.post-1093836541500800332004-08-29T19:08:00.000-07:002004-08-29T20:29:01.500-07:00

With the presidential election barely two months away, the boone box is more dedicated than ever to providing you, Mr. I Have Nothing Better To Do Than To Look At Pictures Of People Buried Up To Their Heads In Sod, with the most comprehensive campaign coverage on the internet, so long as said coverage doesn't interfere with following the Texas Rangers' pennant chase, the beginning of the college

Grant Boonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169561106452981987noreply@blogger.com4