Monday, July 05, 2004

Let's Get Behind This...And Put The War In A Full Nelson

I believe we may have finally found some common ground with the world of Islam in this geopolitically tumultuous time. Muslim fundamentalists are promising to protest women's wrestling in the Olympics, calling the sport "vulgar and indecent." I couldn't agree more. If I want to watch surgically-repaired women shamelessly groping one another in skimpy outfits, I'll go to the half-price sale at a north Dallas Nordstrom's. (Come to think of it, that would make for great Olympic theater.)

While we're at it, let's jettison rhythmic gymnastics, the four-day opening ceremony, professional athletes, John Tesh, Olympic mascots...


5 comments:

Donny said...

Grant when you mentioned "mascots" I have to say that I didn't know these existed. After much research (see link below), I would have to agree. Why do we need these crazy cartoon creatures? Have you seen the Athens mascots - comic book 101 could have produced this.

While we are at it, can we please get rid of any person in the Opening Ceremonies that runs around in a leotard waving anything that is supposed to represent peace. You watch, it will be there in August just like it's been every year.

http://www.collectors.olympic.org/e/fimo/fimo_mascots_e.html

Grant said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Grant said...

Donny,

First off, let me commend you on your willingness to abandon everything else worthwhile in your life and devote time to researching the existence of Olympic mascots. As Sean Hannity says so obsequiously to Oliver North, "You're a great American."

Second, I, too, would be in favor of outlawing athletes from waving paraphernalia of peace with one important exception: if an attractive female athlete actually removes her leotard and begins waving it, it would be against the Olympic motto of "Faster, stronger, nuder" to forbid her from doing so. (Exceptions could also be made for unitards.)

Val said...

Speaking of Olympic mascots and nudity (and when aren't we) has anyone seen the mascots for the games in Greece? Maybe I have a dirty mind, but that just isn't right. I feel a blog coming on... Nah. Too PG-13.

Grant said...

I have seen that mascot, Val, and, yes, you do have a very dirty mind. Shame on you. Go wash it out with soap this instant.

And since when have you been concerned with your blog being "too PG-13?" I've seen the people who've linked your blog to theirs. Shameful. I hope I don't reach the point of needing to berate you in the middle of a worship service sometime.

P.S. I saw someone at Wal-Mart last night whom I thought was Kendra...until I noticed she was wearing camo trousers. Then I knew it was her.