Monday, September 20, 2004

Washing My Hands Of The Weekend

I'm not sure which is more execrable: the unique grime in which one marinates during an all-night flight and the ensuing, early-morning airport layover; or the almost audible objections your body raises when you are so indescribably tired on such occasions. (Vote now to win either a Plasma TV or the opportunity to donate plasma while watching TV.)

I'm pondering that question and other mysteries of the universe in the wee hours of Monday morning at DFW airport after a redeye from Portland, haphazardly pecking away at a public computer keyboard that no doubt doubles as a bacterial buffet. (Please use a new petri dish for return trips.)

I've always found Portland to be very similar to Abilene in that it's inhabitable by humans. There are a few differences, such as Kerry-Edwards bumper stickers in church parking lots. And golf courses that aren't irrigated with non-potable water.

It was great to be back on the air for The Golf Channel broadcasting the LPGA Safeway Classic, knowing we were at the epicenter of the sports weekend. As you know from watching our exciting, tape delayed coverage, Hee-Won Han of South Korea was declared the Safeway winner when Canadian Lorie Kane was disqualified for having too many items in the express checkout line.

Buried on the back pages of your local paper, you might notice the Ryder Cup was also contested this weekend. The American team staged a furious rally on Sunday and ultimately succeeded in preventing Europe from doubling its point total. The final tally was 18 1/2 to 9 1/2 in favor of the Euros, though the U.S. team could have its margin of defeat reduced because of good behavior and a favorable exchange rate.

Despite Europe's seventh victory lap in the last ten Cups, the golf cognoscenti is again agog at the outcome. What's the next bombshell?

"Democrats Promise To Make Wealthy Pay Their Fair Share!"

"Taxes Again Due April 15!"

"Bush Dangles Participle!"

"Biologists Find Germs on Public Computer Keyboards!"


Rob said...

I know that keyboard at DFW. It is a nasty one. Some of those germs are mine actually from a few weeks ago. They got this great thing now called "wireless" Grant and nearly all of DFW is "hot". Check out google if these "terms" are "foreign" to you.

I was so down with the Safeway Classic this week. I TiVo'd the Yankees/Red Sox, Ryder Cup and LSU/Auburn so I could hack into my Russian satellite system back in Novo and catch the Classic on NTVPlus Sports Vodka1 Network, your official channel for all LPGA events, tape delayed events. It was a quite a ride. By the way, you sound funny in Russian!

Red eyes are hard especially when you only fly to the central time zone. You feel a little worse getting off a plane at 5.05 a.m. then we do here in the eastern time zone deboarding a flight that left the left coast at the same time and arrived here at 7.05 a.m. Kinda makes you wish you still lived on Omega Drive, yes? Actually, much of Atlanta still wished you lived on Omega Drive. Sigh....

Last bit for you. Guess what polluted my Comcast Cable (here in Atlanta) channel 45 Friday night??? Lipscomb at Goodpasture. Who the? What the? Why the? Never seen so many 5-8, 150lb white boy nose guards in my life. And yet, both those school have recently won State Championships in the TSSAA??? How is that. I forgot who won but anyway...

Go Cougers!

Anonymous said...


This has nothing to do with your latest post. I just wanted the world of bloggers to know that you are an awesome man! I know people read your stories and as a result, they are pulled closer to Heaven but it’s too bad they all don’t know you as a friend. Grant, you are one of the greatest friends I have. You are an awesome Christian man. I just wanted you to know that.

lucretius said...

dear grant

good to see you, if only on tape delay on sunday. before that, i was sitting there thinking maybe you'd been fired in favor of one of the ultra wooden tgc placemen. why do you get on so infrequently? understated wit mixed with decorum blended with insight: the question is, why aren't you on every week?

your fawning fan

Grant Boone said...

fawn away, dear lucretius, fawn away. i was under contract with TGC for 3 years (2000-2002). i was not offered a new contract, in large part because i couldn't commit to as many tournaments as TGC wanted me to do (30-35 a year). last year, i worked 8 events for TGC and another for ESPN strictly freelance. this year, TGC hasn't needed me but for one event, which was last week. i'm hoping for the best next year with TGC and the other networks with whom i'm talking. thanks again.

lucretius said...

dear grant

i guess 30-35 weeks a year is a big ask for a family man like yourself, but it's a shame nonetheless - good luck with your negotiations. do you write for the golf press or anything?

i must admit was somewhat surprised to find out through reading this blog that you're a devout christian. i am a devout atheist myself and i always (stupidly) assume that people with whom i feel some sense of kinship are likely to share my world view - at least to a certain extent. so thanks for challenging my blind assumptions, as well as enhancing my golf viewing pleasure.

Grant Boone said...

Well, Lucretius, we have the "devout" part in common. You should know I'm not a disciple of religion; I'm a follower of Christ. Historically speaking, few things have been more incongruous with Christ - the man, the Messiah - than Christianity. That's disturbing.

I'm not interested in propagating a system of beliefs; I'm trying to follow the way of Jesus, who I believe was the real deal; a way of selflessness, servant leadership, loving the unlovable, extending mercy wherever and whenever possible.

With the exception of the selflessness, the service, the loving of the unlovable, and the mercy extension, I'm doing a great job.

Thanks for your willingness to share your thoughts. Feel free to e-mail me anytime. The address is located in the profile section.


lucretius said...

my, i'm either dumber than i thought, grant, but i can't see a 'profile' section anywhere on the site. the 'grant boone' link takes me to some golf channel resume, and no matter how often and how firmly i click your mugshot, you just keep smiling.

Grant Boone said...

You're right. The profile section isn't on the main page. Click on my name underneath this or any of my previous comments. That should take you to my profile page.

Joel said...

Grant, Read this tonight in the Message and thought of you.

Eph 3:8 When it came to presenting the Message to people who had no background in God's way, I was the least qualified of any of the available Christians. God saw to it that I was equipped, but you can be sure that it had nothing to do with my natural abilities. And so here I am, preaching and writing about things that are way over my head, the inexhaustible riches and generosity of Christ.
Eph 3:9 My task is to bring out in the open and make plain what God, who created all this in the first place, has been doing in secret and behind the scenes all along.
Eph 3:10 Through Christians like yourselves gathered in churches, this extraordinary plan of God is becoming known and talked about even among the angels!
Eph 3:11 All this is proceeding along lines planned all along by God and then executed in Christ Jesus.
Eph 3:12 When we trust in him, we're free to say whatever needs to be said, bold to go wherever we need to go.
Eph 3:13 So don't let my present trouble on your behalf get you down. Be proud!
Eph 3:14 My response is to get down on my knees before the Father,
Eph 3:15 this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth.
Eph 3:16 I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit--not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength--
Eph 3:17 that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love,
Eph 3:18 you'll be able to take in with all Christians the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights!
Eph 3:19 Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.
Eph 3:20 God can do anything, you know--far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
Eph 3:21 Glory to God in the church! Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus! Glory down all the generations! Glory through all millennia! Oh, yes!

I can't wait to see where this leads.

Rob said...

Well put Joel. Me too. Grant, you know a number of us out here are talking to you know who for you as you continue on...

Anonymous said...

Your posts make me laugh more than anything else I read on these bloggys.....keep 'em coming!