Sunday, January 25, 2004

One Bad Movie

One morning during my sophomore year at Abilene Christian University, my roommate, Joel, was frantically searching for his car keys amid the rubble that was our dorm room floor. (Think Baghdad 2003...except not as environmentally friendly.) In his anger, Joel erupted, "One good day! That's all I want! One good day!"

Actually, that plot and title, "One Good Day," would've been worth more celluloid than the movie I saw last night on video, "One Fine Day." This was not a box office smash when it was released, and now I know why. I think what David Spade once said about a particular flick in his Hollywood smackdown segment on Saturday Night Live applies to this film: "I wanted to see it, but I was sick that day."

The filmmakers concocted a seemingly foolproof plan: put two of the most beautiful people in Hollywood, George Clooney and Michelle Pfeiffer, on the same screen and people will plop down $12.50 (plus expenses) to gawk at them for 109 minutes. These two are certainly gawk-worthy; unfortunately, the movie, itself, was more gook than gawk. The plot - two divorcees juggle career-defining moments while dragging their respective six-year-olds around New York City - was predictable; the acting average, at best. ("They'll be too busy gawking," think the producers, "to notice the acting.")

I can't decide if I was more offput by how crudely the "grown-ups" spoke around the kids, the children's blatant disobedience of the parents (why should they obey when there are no repercussions if they don't?), or the fact that I've still never played one of Michelle Pfeiffer's love interests.

If I sound like a prude, that's only because I am. I movies that perpetuate the erosion of parental authority. The entertainment industry's saturation into the fabric of our families is almost complete, to the point that life is imitating art way more than the other way around these days.

I'm going to stop now before I spontaneously morph into Cal Thomas. I wonder if he's ever played opposite Michelle Pfeiffer?

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